Badly made toast and a heater, lazy Sunday mornings
Ugh how do you expect me to decide what college to attend or who I want to marry or what I want to do for the rest of my life
I CAN’T EVEN DECIDE WHERE TO PUT A STICKER BECAUSE PEELING OFF THE BACK AND HAVING IT STAY IN ONE PLACE FOREVER IS TOO BIG OF A COMMITMENT FOR ME TO LIVE WITH
the only point of a middle name is to let you know when you’re in deep shit
you know i make a lot of threats for someone who is short and cant even do a push up
- I do not watch Sherlock just to see Benedict Cumberbatch
- I am not going to see Star Trek Into Darkness for the same reason
- I do not watch Doctor Who just to see David Tennant
- I do not watch The Avengers movies just to see Tom Hiddleston
- I do not watch the Iron Man movies just to see RDJ
- I do not watch anything just for hot guys
- I can still appreciate that they are really hot
the bag my necklaces came in was tiny and my dad just looks at me and says “this is what they sell cocaine in on the streets” and his eyes lit up and he put some baking powder into the bag and put it on the counter and i was like what are you doing… and he was like “i’m going to tell your mom that we found this in your brother’s pocket” jesus christ
this textpost glows in the dark, turn off your lights i bet you can still see it. ha just a little magic trick i learned
i feel so fucking stupid oh my god
i dont understand how my room can be so messy even though i’m on the computer like 24/7
I talk a lot of shit for someone who panics while ordering food at restaurants
Me: Okay so if orientation is a choice, choose to be gay, right now.
Me: Why not?
Him: Because I don’t find men attractive
Me: So CHOOSE to find them attractive
Him: ……. I can’t.
Me: Sorry, WHAT was that? You CAN’T????
THIS IS THE BEST ARGUMENT TOWARDS THIS EVER OMFLKRFJHELKFJHQWKJDHQEFKJHQFKJWEHFKWDJ;lejf;WELFJLWEFJKWEFJWEK
so I wake up
click on facebook
ladies and gentlemen, my brother.
amanda bynes vagina found dead in apartment. drake prime suspect